Rainy Days

It has been really rainy around here the past few days. This picture was taken the day we got home with Jackson. When I saw this rainbow that day it made me feel that our storm was over. I really do love the rain but my day yesterday made me rethink that thought. So the past couple of days I have been super sick. So we did not go anywhere. I was feeling a little better and needed to get to the store to get more sippy cups for Jackson because we just got rid of the bottle. I looked outside and it was raining a tiny bit no big deal right? So I packed Jackson up and headed out. As I started driving it started pouring like crazy. I could not see anything. My windows began to fog up so I turned on the defrost and it was not working fast enough so I hurried and rolled down the window. Thinking I would get a little wet but at least I would be able to see. As I rolled down the window a huge truck was coming the opposite way and my car was engulfed with muddy water. Jackson and I were drenched. Jackson did not cry he yelled like he was totally irritated. I felt the same way but all I could do at that point was laugh. My shirt that was once white was now brown and my hair was full of mud but we still made it to the store in all our glory. Love rainy summer days!

The Miracle Of Adoption

We would not be celebrating Jackson's 1st birthday if it weren't for the miracle of adoption and Jackson's birth parents. I would feel ungrateful if I didn't acknowledge the beauty of that miracle. We always felt that adoption would be a part of our life and we did not realize how truly amazing adoption is until we experienced it first hand.
I never thought I would say this but I am truly grateful for our infertility. There are still times that it slaps me around a little bit, but it is few and far between now. I know that there are conversations I will never be a part of and I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have felt Jackson kick inside of me (but that is a bond between Jackson and his BM that I would NEVER take from them) I now see a pregnant woman and often think how lucky I am to experience the great love of a birth mother. I feel so lucky that I get to have Jackson's BM in my life. We are connected for life and the gratitude and love Justin and I feel for her is something that words could never express. I know that everything happens for a reason and I am so happy that adoption is the way our family is to be formed.
One year ago today we got the news that Jackson was born. It was the middle of the night when we got a text from our BM that she was in labor and on her way to the hospital. When I heard this I was literally running all over the house wanting to be there so badly. We already had plane tickets for the next day. We tried to change them but the airport we were flying into is small so we could not get out there any sooner. Then a few hours later we got the call that our sweet baby boy was born. We wanted to be there so bad but we didn't make it to the hospital until nine that night. We were a wreck all day. We knew he was in good hands though which helped a ton. He was with his birth parents who love him. When we got to the hospital nobody could have prepared me enough for that moment when we met our son for the first time. I think I felt a million different emotions. I felt overwhelming love for this sweet baby who I had dreams of having for years. I also felt so heartbroken for his birth parents. I wanted so badly to take their pain away and knowing that there was nothing I could do broke my heart. There was a very sweet and precious moment in the hospital that I will never forget. It was just the five of us in the room and Justin and I were holding our sweet little miracle and Jackson's birth parents were across from us holding each other. I looked up and saw his BM looking down at Jackson with the most beautiful look of love I have ever seen. At that moment I felt such an overwhelming feeling of love, humility, and gratitude. It is a look I will never forget and a story I will tell Jackson of often of how that quiet dark room was filled with so much love, all for him. I am in aw of the loving sacrifice Jackson's birth parents made. They are so dear to our hearts. They made us parents and most importantly made us a family. We love you guys!

Happy Birthday Jackson!

Today is Jack Jack's birthday! We had a party for him on Saturday (I will post pictures later). This picture is when we were singing Happy Birthday to him, he thought it was great. His face says it all. He is not afraid to be the center of attention. Jackson we are so happy that you are part of our family we can't imagine life any other way. You are such a sweet little guy who has brought excitement and joy to our home. We love you more than we ever thought possible. Have a Happy 1st Birthday Baby.
-Things Jackson Loves at 1 year:
-Balls
-Anything with wheels
-Peek-A-Boo
-Outside
-Animals
-Stuffed animal and blankets (he is such a cuddly baby he loves to snuggle with us or anything soft)
-The fridge and the freezer (whenever we open them he crawls over to them as fast as he can and then cries when we close them)
-When daddy comes home (When Justin gets home from work I will say daddy's home and Jackson giggles and crawls to the back door and lights up when Justin walks in)
-He loves to play rough and is quite the dare devil already

The Farm

Yesterday we went to Thanksgiving Point with Lisa, Taylor, and Diesel. We have been a few times and Jackson loves it. He is crazy about all animals. Taylor was so cute she kept sharing her goat food with Jackson. Jackson was standing like a big boy I am sure he will be walking soon!
It is a must around here to get out and do things. Jackson will stand at the back door hitting it and waving bye bye. He loves to get out and see new things. I used to see moms out to lunch and think that they were doing it so they could have a social life, but I was wrong. Around here we do it so Jackson doesn't spend half the day at the back door.

Favorite things party and "Safe places"

Last night I went to a favorite things party. I had never heard or been to one before and the girls in my neighborhood were throwing one so I thought I would go. I am so glad I did even though it didn't start until 9:00 and I didn't get in bed until 1:00. The alarm at 5:45 came very early this morning, good thing I have a running partner or I would have rolled back over and slept a little longer. Sorry back on track a favorite things party is everyone brings 3 ten dollar gifts of one of your favorite things then you put your name in a bowl three times and then you go home with three different things. I brought my fav Bed Head hairspray of course. It was so much fun to see what things people love to use. One of the things I got was a super yummy cupcake from The Cupcake Fairy it was sooooo good. Or maybe it was because it was midnight when I was eating it but I was dreaming about it all night mmmmmm! Can't wait to do another favorite things party thanks Nicole it was so fun!

Yesterday I sat down to upload pictures to make invites for Jackson's first birthday party(yes my baby is going to be one in 20 days and yes I am freaking out I can't believe it, time goes too fast) and I realized I could not find the cord to upload them to my computer. Then I remembered I put it in a "safe place" that was not the usual spot. Does any one else do this I drive myself crazy. So after an hour of looking for it I gave up so hopefully I will find it today and I can post some pictures. Wish me luck!

ZZZZZZZZ!!!

Yesterday morning I went for an early morning run and came home to see my boys both fast asleep. When I left Jackson was still in his crib. Justin is not a morning person and was not ready to get up. So he brought Jackson in bed for a few more zzzzzz's. So I very quietly took this picture. Man I love my boys!

Camping at Tropic Then and Now!

A couple of weeks ago we went camping down at Tropic by Bryce Canyon. We have been down there before. The first time we went there Justin and I were engaged. Little did I know that it would become a trip I would never live down. (If you have a weak stomach this is not a story you will want to read!) It all started with my Father in law's lima bean and ham soup. Justin and I were not married yet so I was on my best behavior trying to impress the future in laws. My Father in law made a big batch of his lima bean soup. So trying to get a few points I asked for a second bowl even though I did not care for the soup. Honestly who eats lima beans anyway.(sorry Steve) A few short hours later we were sitting with a bunch of Justin's extended family and I knew it was over. I got up and ran to the outhouse and began barfing my guts out. After I was done I sat for a few minutes and here it came again those awful lima beans over and over again! I had been gone a while so Justin and his mom came looking for me only to find me laying on the ground right next to the outhouse. Disgusting right! I know but I was so sick I did not care where I was laying. It was getting dark and I knew that there was no way I was going to stay and let everyone hear me barf all night long so Justin and I headed home. We had a good four hour drive and the whole way home I continued to throw up every fifteen minutes in the car(in a garbage bag of course). My mom kept on calling Justin to tell him to make me drink Gatorade.(in the past I had this happen and had to get an iv because I got dehydrated so my mom was trying to prevent that) So after four hours of the smell of grape Gatorade and barf Justin decided that he could not touch grape Gatorade again. Needless to say this years trip was much better.

This time around was Jackson's first time camping. He loved eating the dirt and the rocks that is why we resorted to the play pin. Justin brought a hammock and Jack had a great time swinging in it. I had a talk with Justin before we went down that Jackson could not go on the four wheeler until he was big enough for a helmet as you can see I lost. Justin went really slow just around the campground and Jack loved it of course. We also went into Bryce canyon and went hiking. Justin had Jackson in one of those super dorky backpacks and Jackson LOVED it!(I forgot my camera on the hike I hate it when I do that)